Can we settle down please?

So many words in that sentence have me thinking. Can--how is it possible that we know anything? scepticism...
We? Collective, but it can also be exclusive. It's collective in the sense that it's between only a certain amount of people and between those people only, so it's like a family. But, at the same time, it excludes others. Settle? enough said. (ahh, Lo, the conversations we have!) Please? It's proper to use your manners. Yes, I agree. But what really is proper? Please? Must we always ask or is it that nowadays these things are merely implied? Our society has come so far from traditions. Conventionality.

Conventions. My life is full of none. I shouldn't have to work two jobs. (Though, I still feel the need to...) I shouldn't have to share a room at my age. I shouldn't have to pay a ridiculous amount for rented parking. I probably shouldn't be able to do my homework--or write on my blog as I am right now--at work. This life filled with disease shouldn't be happening to me. I shouldn't have carpal tunnel. Of all things, a writer should never be plagued by these things.

A writer. I so often call myself this, but what makes me a writer? I mean really. I write. Yes, but many people write. I used to consider myself a musician. And still do...does that mean my identity has changed because I now attribute myself as more of a writer than as a musician. That was supposed to be my life. Spent in a small cubicle of a practice room, preparing for shows, auditions, teaching. I planned on Music Education and sometimes, yes, sometimes, that still bothers me. But the fact of the matter is, that in finding out that that wasn't the path I should have gone with, I found something I should have attributed to my life a long time ago. I've been writing down my poetry since I was still in Middle School. And, yet, I've never thought myself much of a poet. Realistically at least.

I was always the music kid. Voted Next American Idol in high school. 2nd Place for Most Musical in High School. That's how I'll be remembered. And yet, I wasn't the one listed as the "Next novelist" or "Most likely to win a Pulitzer." It's strange to find something "new" that I can attribute with myself that isn't what I thought it would be at all.

But, what in life is actually something that I've planned out. I plan on getting married, I plan on writing, I plan on being successful. I want a family. I want my dreams--I want them all within reach. I plan on writing for me. Not for the Creative Writing program here, which I've opted to shy away from. I don't want to write for them, I want to write for me. I want to read good literature and have thoughts about that and incorporate it in my own work like those before me. I want to have the time for me. The time I cherish to do my work. I want the time to sit here and whittle away at my computer to collect my thoughts and tell my stories.

I want creativity.