In the Write Mood

It's a bit odd how I feel sometimes as if I have nothing to say when I sit down and open up this blog, but I've always got so much on my mind that the instant I start to write anything, it goes in a direction I wasn't attempting to go or the focus seems completely somewhere else. It still works and it still fits, but it isn't always the way I'd intended it to go. With that said, my imperfect perfection seems to come out as soon as I start to write here. Sometimes paper is easier, but this flows easier sometimes than it does on paper when I'm constantly trying to catch my thoughts since there are so many going on at once that I can't keep them straight and can't keep the focus going. Perhaps thats why Virginia Woolf was so successful with her stream of consciousness form, since other people's minds are constantly running in circles as mine often does. Which is essentially what I'm doing now and what sometimes happens while I sit down to write.

I remember having to do a stream of consciousness-type writing when I took a course on Virginia Woolf's work in college. One of the best classes I took at UW-Madison without a doubt, but it was an amazing assignment. I remember sitting on Bascom Hill as I wrote about people walking up and down the hill to their classes and commenting on how many people are on their cell phones and seem too busy for the real world. Also, commenting on how we're all connected, but disconnected at the same time. You see, UW-Madison has a feel that everyone is a part of a family. The Badger family. We're one big sea of red on game days and it's as if we're all at a very large family reunion, meeting old family and re-connecting with those we haven't seen in awhile. But, when we're all going to classes or running between classes to go somewhere else, there always seems to be a bit of a disconnect between the family that we're all a part of and the sense that we're all doing our own more important thing. A disconnected connection of friends and family? It seems so odd to say, but at the same time, its oxymoronic meaning seems to fit. Just a few thoughts...

Most times, however, I have to be in the mood to sit down and write a poem or to have what I would consider to be an introspective thought. I have to be in the right mood, and in the right atmosphere and finding the right atmosphere is definitely a challenge. Evenings always work better and the light needs to be dim. I need a specific kind of music or no music at all. Coffee usually helps, but isn't entirely necessary. Perhaps this is all a mind game I play with myself in order to feel better about the ability of my writing. Sometimes I used to feel the same way about reading Philosophy articles, but then I got in the habit of reading them with just certain music and that made reading them so much more efficient. I'd always put myself in the mood to read them just by listening to a mix of Sigur Ros songs on my iPod.

I need to get back in the habit of writing, that's for certain, but I have mixed feelings on the process. I've heard that some people find it great practice if they grab a notebook and start to write as soon as they wake up in the morning. Others find that a time schedule like write from 2p-3p everyday seems to make sense since they have set aside the time and know that they will write at that interval. Still others find that whenever they feel inspired is the best way to just jump in and get their best writing down on paper (or computer). I'm sure I'll attempt any number of these theories to see which works for me, but mostly I'm thinking a combination of these may be what is best. Trial and Error. That's the only way to find out anything in life.

What a Year for a New Year

So, I've been spending the last few hours pondering what my new years resolution will be. Normally, I don't believe in resolutions to mark the New Year, but believe in life changes when deemed necessary. This year, I'm thinking a resolution might be a good idea. Not because I have some logical reason to defend why I'm saying this, but really just a gut reaction that it might be a good idea. (Also, I can't think of a good reason that it's NOT a good idea.) So my question is, What should my New Years Resolution be?

I have a few ideas, but no solid thoughts. A few of my self imposed suggestions:

a) to learn more about meditation and yoga (in hopes of practicing both?)
b) to read more and watch TV on DVD/Movies less
c) to start studying for the LSAT (what I was going to do anyway, so not much of a resolution?)
d) to start working on an Advocates Association for the State of Tennessee's D.O.'s
e) to try the Elimination Diet with Owen (also something we were going to do anyway)


Any other thoughts, you know where to leave the message.

My pivotal moment of the day: I read on my friend's blog that her son out of the blue said that she was beautiful and that she loved her. After that, I've decided I someday hope to have a child just as sweet.

The Meaning of a Song

Music of the Moment: In Your Atmosphere, John Mayer

Music is my main passion in life. It can consume you and transcend you to another moment or take you away from pain that you may feel. It can create a new dimension, or take you away for just a split second into some other moment in time. For some, it defines who they are and speaks to their every moment in life. With that said, I am one of those people. I realize there are people who are not this addicted to music, but I am 100% all about the music I love and bask in the glory that it creates. Music creates a mood, changes a mood, or explains a mood. I can listen to a song and be happy before hand, but turn into an emotional wreck after hearing some tunes. Then there are others that pick up my mood from gloomy to euphoric. Don't ask me what it is about this music, but Music is the food of life. It makes me feel less hungry for other things and it transforms me in ways that nothing else can. It's the drug I live on.

I'm listening and watching John Mayer's dvd from the album Where the Light Is: Live in Los Angeles. It's like a concert in my living room and I adore it. Even on my 12 inch iBook, it feels like he's performing just for me. Though this clearly isn't true, the music puts me in another moment and suddenly, everything is different. I'm not a fanatic, mind you. I have one framed album, the heavier things album on vinyl with a signed copy of the cd mounted on my wall, but that's beside the point. It's the music. The music that feeds my soul.

Perhaps I'm a firm believer in music therapy, which is obviously true, but everyone has one album, one song, one artist, one...something...that keeps them going. Something that makes them get up and out of bed today. Something that feeds their soul.

Carrie Bradshaw had fashion. I have music.