Soon to be September

Bought my books today....guess I can start being a geek again.....


.....YAY! :-)

Leaving...and Keane.

Oh and I know you're on your way to MN right now...AND that you'll conveniently never read this. And so...in that case, it's alright for me to spill my guts to some online blog, right? Everyday, I swear this thing becomes more and more about me and less and less about society like I wanted it to.

So last week was a blast to start off with; I have to say that first. I adore you.

Spending the night with you out in the country couldn't have been better. The perfect gentleman made me dinner...set the table, held my hand, and watched movies while sitting so close together it was almost unbearable. And yet...I'm still confused. You made a wonderful adorable dinner and set the table so we could sit across from each other. You carefully picked out some movies that I would enjoy and watched them sitting on the couch, so comfortable with plenty of room for two (and then some...) yet, we ended up sitting so close together. And then...the infamous question. Do you want to sleep in the other room? or, you can just sleep in the same room with me? Oh...how I wanted you to ask that for the entire night...yet, I wasn't sure you'd ever really ask me in the first place since you made it so clear that there was a separate bedroom on the phone. And yet...I said I didn't care...and so we ended up sleeping in the same bed. And while I thought there would be details about this portion of the event, there most certainly were not. In fact, at the precise moment when our feet would brush against each other's, we would both quickly move, knowing that slight touch was too much at that very moment. In the morning, you didn't wake me up like the last time we slept in the same room. You just let me sleep and when I had turned over mid-morning sleep, you touched my nose with your index finger and then...I was completely awake. We sat in bed for just a few minutes chatting...and had our little pillow talk over nothing and eventhough without glasses on, we both know that neither one of us could see each other perfectly. And I so I wanted to. Without your glasses, I can see your beautiful hazel-green eyes so much easier and they look...unbelievable, indescribable.

I swear I've never truly loved a man that didn't have brown or hazel eyes...

And then...you got up to do the morning chores for the house and you let me stay in bed to catch a little more rest. After a few minutes of tossing and turning, I decided I should probably get up and do something and since you were still out, I made the bed, got ready for the morning, but realized how wonderful you had been that morning. You let me sleep in after not sleeping very well and turned off the alarm, you let me stay in bed while you got up to take care of the animals, you made me feel comfortable above all. Never have I had that kind of polite gesture placed upon me. That was ever so sweet of you and I can't thank you enough for being a true gentleman. You thought it was cute that I had made the bed, later. And I realized, just how cute YOU were. We had coffee and chatted lightly over listening to classical music in the morning. Seriously, the perfect way to start the morning with you. A way that I can only imagine waking up every morning.

And then, after the morning coffee......Keane happened. While listening to my newest heavy rotation CD, the whole morning changed. It just kept getting more and more....like we weren't just friends and closer to the point where that thin line between being just friends and being lovers becomes...well....nonexistent. You sat on my lap. You held my hand. You rubbed my hand. You move to sitting on the floor. You spread my legs apart and sit between them. You gently and tenderly place your head on my stomach. I run my fingers through your hair and you seem utterly content. And then...I realize...this could either get closer and closer to that line until it's crossed or I could stop the situation before our situation gets any more awkward. Your moves are gracious, mine are....trying to stop you from what you're doing so you realize that YOU'RE the one crossing the line. So...I did the only thing possible... "I should probably get going soon..." And then, everything changed from that enchanting morning to a day like any other. You walked me to my car, gave me a short hug, and said your goodbyes. Ugh...Close. So close...

Leaving so Soon-Keane

You must think I'm a fool
So prosaic and awkward and all
Do you think you've got me down?
Do you think I've never been out of this town?

Do I seem too eager to please to you now?
You don't know me at all
I can't turn it on turn it off like you now
No I'm not like you now.

Now you're here
I bet you're wishing you could disappear
I'm trying to be kind
I get the feeling you're just killing time.

You look down at me
Don't you look down on me now.
You don't know me at all
A slap in the face, in the face for you now
Just might do now.


You're leaving so soon?
Never had a chance to bloom
But you were so quick to change your tuen
Don't look back if I'm a weight around your neck
Because if you don't need me I don't need you

Leaving so soon?
Leaving, leaving so soon?...


You're leaving so soon?
Never had a chance to bloom
But you were so quick to change your tuen
Don't look back if I'm a weight around your neck
Because if you don't need me I don't need you
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:( ...more later. Thoughts to come. God, I miss you... : /