Monday, October 23, 2006

Build my Life

I love you...I hope you know that. I can't tell you that enough...and all I get back is "i know." I'm trying to pour my heart out...and I feel trampled.
All I want is a chance...
one last chance to make things happen.

Why did it take me so long to figure out that you and I are supposed to be together forever...? Now, I might not get the opportunity. I'm not sure what hurts more...not having "i love you" as a reply, knowing that I might not have you, or knowing that I'm the one who ruined it.

I miss you...and I love you...and you're the one.
How could I possibly think of leaving you when I don't want a life without you?

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

It all comes "Down to You"

I feel like I'm on an emotional rollercoaster and the rollercoaster is right now on it's downhill swing. Each day, it's heightened and then lowered, heightened, then falls. The falling and rising action introduced by Aristotle, but I wonder if he thought about it as a roller coaster? This moment is the downfall. I'm scared; I feel vulnerable; I'm...in love. I've been sickly in love since I was a freshman in high school, and while I've taken a few routes that weren't so right in the meantime, I've finally found my way back to the path I'm supposed to be on. Each night I spend with you, sleeping in our respective places, I realize that the moments we spend talking before falling asleep are the moments I live for. I love that feeling the next morning, knowing you slept next to me and that I got to wake up with you the next morning. I realize that you're not watching over me when I sleep, but I like to think that you're taking care of me and protecting me.

And yet, It scares the hell out of me not knowing how you feel. Where I know you've always felt something for me, I've been skeptical in the past, but now....now, I know. I don't know why it took me so long; I don't know how I couldn't have seen it from the start.

I'm in love...and always will be. With you... I love you.

When I was laughing the other night when we were in bed, it wasn't laughter because I thought something was funny...I was laughing because it's the only thing I can do to keep myself from crying out of pure joy. It's that small laughter I get to make myself from stopping the tears from coming. Comic relief?

I'm standing by myself out on a limb and it's quite scary.... Will you come stand with me?