Thursday, December 31, 2009

Another New Year

I'm so ready for 2010. Not really sure why, but a change of pace will be good. Life is easier when I'm busy...don't ask me why that makes sense, but I have less time to spend inside my head, and that, for the most part, is a good thing. The end of my semester was a traumatic experience...not because I did horribly. (I got a 4.0 so that certainly isn't true...) I wrote some very painful confessions in a formal paper for my professor to read. Things that I would normally only write here, rather than for something I deliberately know someone will read. I had a rather difficult time attempting to get around writing about my life directly, but the assignment necessitated some soul searching and some divulging. Not one of my finer moments in terms of holding the pieces all together.

For now, I'll leave you with the final thoughts from my paper. I almost never include academic writing here, but since I'm having writer's block (Really, I'm feeling the need to write on paper these days, but haven't yet picked out which notebook I'm feeling right now...)

My philosophy on education stems from personal experience and personal triumphs over disappointment. Perhaps it is because of these wounds that I find myself relating to an Existential viewpoint, but despite these views, I am also an Idealist. Even though this seems to be an odd coupling, my background and life experiences seem to explain how I have formulated these conceptions. One of the Freedom Writers in Teaching Hope says, “The youth’s voices echo in my soul and stitch the open wounds of my past” (74). This quote simply explains how I feel about my path towards a career in education. My aim is to listen and guide students through experiences that as an adolescent are difficult to cope with, to guide them to find the truths in life, and to aid in their personal development. There may be a student like me, who had their life focused on one goal, but changed avenues and found something that they love differently, but equally. I strive to become the teacher that listens to the voice of each student, to guide him or her towards the inner truths of life, and strives for them to find their individuality or uniqueness. Perhaps with the voices of my students, I too will be able to stitch and heal the open wounds of my past.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Rings a bell in my heart....

These words keep spinning in my head...

"Within the depths of my sadness and lonliness, I can love you, Although I cannot be with you..."

Oh, my aching head will pine over this for awhile...
a sickness it creates..

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Song of the Moment

I'm in love with this...

Kings of Leon-Revelry

What a night for a dance,
You know I'm a dancing machine
With a fire in my bones
And the sweet taste of kerosene

I get lost in the night
So high I don't want to come down
To face the loss
Of the good thing
That I had found

Woo hoo hoooo
Woo hoo hoooo

In the dark of the night
I can hear you callin my name
With the hardest of hearts,
I still feel full of pain

So I drink and I smoke
And I ask if you're ever around
Even though it was me who drove us
Right in the ground

See the time we shared it
Was precious to me
But all the while
I was dreamin of revelry

I wanna run baby run
Like a stream down a mountainside
With the wind at my back
I don't ever even bat an eye

Just know it was you all along
Who had a hold of my heart
But the demon and me
Were the best of friends from the start

So the time we shared it
Was precious to me
All the while
I was dreamin of revelry
Dreamin of revelry

And I told myself boy away you go
It rained so hard that it felt like snow
Everything came tumbling down on me

In the back of the woods
In the dark of night
The Palest of the old moonlight
Everything just felt so incomplete
Dreamin of revelry
Dreamin of revelry
Dreamin of Revelry....