Thoughts of the Night

Tonight, I'm not feeling very chatty. Not because I don't have anything to say, but because I'm not sure what I want to say. I usually spend my time on this blog about things I see when I'm out and about, or to post some poetry that I've written, post about my life or what I like, about what I see in society...

However, today I haven't seen much. I spent most of the day inside the house I live in and mostly spent my time searching the internet instead of doing anything constructive. I should have done countless things around the house, but I find myself bored most of the day and yet, I still seem to do nothing. I'm constantly compelled to check my favorite internet sites, so I spend much of my days on the computer looking at this or that. I do job search just about every day to see what's out there and I do try to read a lot. My rule is that during the day I do not watch tv on dvd, or dvd movies while Owen is at school. Mostly this is because if I didn't have this rule for myself, I'd spend the entire day lying on the couch watching movies, Sex and The City, House, or Grey's Anatomy. I've seen all the episodes of Sex and the City and House countless times, but I still love to watch them.

The last few days, though, I feel like I haven't accomplished much at the house and I feel like the days all run together without any real purpose or direction. Perhaps I need to find some higher meaning in my life. Considering I have no other "purpose" than to keep the house clean and to let our two dogs out to do their business, it would certainly seem obvoius that I need some sort of higher purpose. Too bad it took me until now to figure that out.

I've just finished reading Elizabeth Gilbert's book, "Eat, Pray, Love" and I find myself wondering more and more about spiritual journeys. Is it possible to take a spiritual journey when you a) can't leave the house and b) aren't sure where to start? I guess I'm interested in turning back towards the church, but I'm curious as to how to keep my individuality and what I believe in separate from spirituality. I'm not entirely certain that I can absolutely go back to the church without some reservations. I'm definitely interested in Meditation, so perhaps what I mean is that I'm more interested in a mix of Eastern and Western religion. But, furthermore, I'm not entirely sure that what I'm searching for IS religion. I think I'm searching for meaning more than anything else, and personally, I'm not sure religion is the way to get at what is meaningful.

Perhaps I'll sort all of this out in the next few weeks, but having it weigh down my head isn't the easiest thing to deal with.

Music of the Moment: Clarity by John Mayer (it's also a personal favorite)

Labels or Love: My Latest Obsessions

Right now I'm obsessing over the song by T-Pain called "Can't believe it." Personally, I can't believe it myself. But, for some reason, the beat sort of gets me and it's an "easing" song, if that makes sense. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that they say "I could put you up in a mansion in Wisconsin," but I'm going to let that slide for now. Music is always about a feeling, whatever the music does to you or does for you. If rap makes you slow down and take a minute to reflect, that's fine with me. If country makes you feel at home, that's fine. I maintain that the only way to know you love a certain type of music over another is that it puts you in a great mood or it perfectly fits your mood.

New topic. Everyone knows I'm obsessed with fashion. I love reading a great issue of Vogue and I get REALLY excited for the huge fall issue. I love the magazine In Style as well and you'll frequently see me looking through the tabloids at the check-out line, mostly to see the fashion. I do, for some reason, find it interesting when celebrities are pregnant, sleeping around with a new someone, or stepped out with their hair designer for dinner, but mostly, it's all about the fashion. I want to know who wore what boots with what outfit or who wore what to the Emmy's/Movie Awards/Oscars/etc. With that said, I'm starting to compile a list of my most envied star's looks. Right now, I'm obsessing over Rachel Bilson, Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen. I'm always interested in Reese Witherspoon, Carrie Underwood, Lauren Conrad, and Kate Beckinsale. Fall Fashion though, has me obsessing over thigh high boots. Flats, Heels, Platforms, I don't much care. As long as they're constructed well and placed with the right outfit, I'm loving them. Which I guess is why I feel like I'm constantly looking for a new pair. My overall favorite designers: BCBG MAXAZRIA, Herve Leger (obviously!), Chanel, Dior, Oscar de La Renta, Vera Wang, and the list goes on. This installment, I'll give you my five picks for most important items to own for fall:
1. Dark Plum nail polish-it's cheap, an easy fix, and a must have.
2. Riding Boots-Black or brown, it doesn't matter. They're comfortable and classic.
3. One bold colored Dress, Bag, or Shoe: preferably a jewel tone, but variants also work.
4. One great suit that you can split up: (Hint: Be inspired by Classic Men's fashion.)
5. Thick Black Belt to be worn around the waist-Pick something Classic, but fun. (I own one in an alligator print)

Now, I know not everyone has oodles of money to spend on fashion, and nor do I, so the best way to think about fall fashion is to be classic. Go with items that have a classic shape, or that can go with multiple outfits, perhaps on through spring. I always love plum nail polish because it's like black, but isn't black and it's more fun than a dark red or burgandy. My best advice is to be creative and have your own style. My fashion icons use items in interesting ways, and I guess that's why I love them so much. Labels aren't about having fashion, fashion is about what comes through on the outside and by mixing high and low. Have fun!

Eclectic Musically

Lately, for some reason, I've been listening to a lot of HipHop/R&B. Usually, I find myself less compelled to find this type of music interesting. But, as always, I am constantly evolving into something new and trying different things. I've found that some of this music I find offensive like "Crank that Soulja Boy" by Soulja Boy, now others, I'm completely taken with, including every song I've heard from John Legend and all the way through some T.I. The background to Ludacris' new song "One More Drink" has some interesting music from a simple piano sound, to the beats that are usually included in this type of music. Though some of the lyrics bother me, I tend to focus on talent alone and while I may not necessarily agree with their message, I believe that music is not always about what's being conveyed, but about the way it makes you feel. This particular Ludacris song seems to relax me in a way that usually comes from only certain types of music, and usually not R&B. I'm excited to listen to new songs and to venture back to some types of music that I've been neglecting, like the Rock that I used to listen to some time ago, mostly when I started this blog.

This entire experience of being in an entirely new environment, namely the South, is turning out to be more interesting than I thought it would be. I'm constantly having to bite my tongue based on the way that I was raised compared to the way people are raised here. I'm definitely in the minority of people in my area that have college degrees (especially from a Big Ten!), from people who grew up having supportive parents, from people who grew up being attached to literature...
Mostly, it angers me the difference in political decisions and not because I'm upset that people do not agree with my candidate of choice, but mostly because people seem to be unaccepting of other's opinions. I'll leave my thoughts there.

Enough for this evening...as always, I'll post more in the near future.