Life's little Moments

Sitting in the booth by myself for a late lunch this afternoon, I had the opportunity as always to indulge in what i respectively call "people watching." Now, hardly ever do you come across someone who doesn't enjoy this little gift of curiosity, but bear with me, as I'm not exactly sure how many people actually get affected by the things they see happening around them everday. Call me emotional, but sometimes it gets me right in the heart.
It's an afternoon like any other and there are people all around, a lot of older ladies and gentlemen, more than I'm used to seeing. Normally this wouldn't pose any problem with me or any reaction at all. Why should it? Gazing around the room, now beginning to fill with individuals wanting their little afternoon snack or late lunch, i noticed that this large group of quite possibly parents filled with a few grandparents seemed to stay longer than the rest. (This again seems fairly logical because we college kids have hardly enough time in our schedules to even find the time to eat!) This whole situation only posed a question in my mind when I noticed one of the older gentlemen, small stature, grey hair, and upon standing I noticed that the gentleman had a slight hunch in his figure. This didn't seem to bother me at first and so I went for another spoonful of my cheddar broccoli soup. When I glanced up again, I noticed the man carrying his tray, but it wasn't that that I noticed first. His walk. His slight hunch was even more profound and he had such a large limp as if only one of his legs really worked correctly and I thought, wow, how sad that this man is carrying his tray by himself and left the group to return his tray to its proper place for discarding and none of the college students seemed to notice his possible difficulty in doing so. Now, maybe he's one of those extremely optimistic people who doesn't want help with anything or doesn't want to be bothered about his current state, but it sort of hit me. This grandfather figure, whom i'm assuming was here to visit his grandchild or pick her/him up for spring break, seemed to hit me right at the core. Not for his stature or for his walk, not for the fact that he was waiting for his child, or even the possibility of the grandparent missing their grandchild. It hit me more when I realized that I don't have mine anymore. It reminds me of when my grandfather used to wait to pick me up in the morning to go to school, the talks we'd have in the morning about life and him giving me advice, the saturday morning breakfasts and the doughnuts he'd bringfor us all to share together, how he'd smell of old spice and halls cough drops, how excited every one of our dogs was when he would arrive. For that matter, the excitement I used to have when he would arrive...
My grandfather was the most amazing person i've ever met. He's guided my life into what it is today and sometimes, I can still feel him watching over me or know that he's taking care of me. The collage of pictures of my grandfather sits by my bed and i'm noticing more and more, that I forget it's there. Am I starting to forget him too? Up until now, it's been weeks since it's bothered me that he's gone...but now that I'm seeing all these other things and starting to figure out my life, he seems to be farther and farther away from me. Do I not need his help anymore? Am I drifting from my role model?
That can't possibly be since he's shaped my whole perspective on life. My whole outlook on relationships and what they should strive to be-friendship or romantic. He was the kind of guy that would have taken me to prom if I didn't have a date, the kind to buy flowers just because (eventhough he'd make it clear that they were economically frivilous).
I miss sitting in his van in the morning, waiting until I was ready to head off to school, listening to WCLO radio and grandpa going down his list of what he was going to do for the day and what had to be done at each place. He was always so good with words...

It's funny how my whole perspective has changed in just another of life's little moments.