Infatuation

your kisses
like candy
sweet to the taste
your eyes
so mysterious
yet i v want to see the world in them
The touch of your hand to mine
gentle and sweet
like rain drops falling from the sky
to hear your breathing
rhythmic and steady
everlasting and full of life
the smile on your face says it all
never wanting to let go
time seems to stop
all in the world is right
there is nthing but you and I
nothing else matters...
3.9.03

Good lord thats old...
Here's another...3.27.03

Scared of what may come, the feelings that may arise. Help me through them and comfort me as I do. I'm feeling scared from years past and of the pain it caused. Hear my words as I pray for a guiding hand. Falling into what may come and all i can think is of the pain it caused before. Wanting things to be different. Scared of revealing myself and letting you see me. Don't want to get hurt, tears may fall as I remmeber, the days of yesterday...frightened of this world, full of suffering, wanting compassion and faith. Faith, which I have found in you. Help me to take the next step--to recover. To crawl through the hole to something new and pleasant. I want to be able to feel love-to be able to hear those words, spoken to me, to bleieve in them--that they are true. Please, promise not to hurt me, unsure if i can bear the pain
of yesterday.

I'm not really sure why I'm in the mood to show everyone these...but while i'm giving you my life history, here's one more:

Michael
5.26.03

I'm agonized by you
everyday of my life
like a bad letter that keeps coming back
more and more torture is all i recieve

your wounds won't go away
damaged and irreversible
trying to stand for what i beleive in
but you keep pushing me down
we arent together
you have no control
i'm not yours anymore

the days get longer your comments hurt
i'm strong enough not to cry
they're all around me and
the room is getting smaller
especially when you're around...

i've tried all i can think of
just leave my behind
you're a parasite
living off my blood
this wounded soul cannot be fixed
unless you decide to finally realize
that i'm not yours anymore

and through these years it always seems
that you are still around
your presence-it lingers
please let it fall one day...

and maybe sometime
you'll realize what you've done
and you'll fall back and change your ways
until that day, just know
i'm not yours anymore.