confused...officially

You heard me...confused...officially. What the hell am I doing with my life? When I was little, I always wanted to be a nurse or a vet, a teacher or a lawyer, a musician or a writer. Now, I'm so far away from all of those things it scares me. I have literally no idea what I'm doing with my life right now. In that case, is the UW really the right place for me to be? I'm spending so much money to be there, yet I have no idea where life is going to take me and where I'm going. Everyone else seems to at least have some sort of idea and I'm left in the dark completely confused. My sister switched majors within her first semester of being at college...within WEEKS of starting college...and where am I? The School of Music doesn't think I'm good enough, yet I know if I transfered to a mediocre, small school I'd be admitted in a heartbeat. Does that mean I should settle for something less when I know I'm better than that?
I'm scared that I'm wasting my time not knowing what I want to do. I'm looking at all of the requirements for a ton of different majors and i'm completely overwhelmed. I'm a mess and I don't even know what about...Why? Did I make the wrong decision about going to the UW in the first place? I thought this was the best thing for me...but was I blinded by the other factors in my life at the time? Would I have been happily at U of M if I wasnt at the UW? and for that matter, how the hell did I get into the UW anyway?! I wasn't even a wait-listed applicant...they took me right away. What the hell were they thinking?! I'm not sure I have the analytical mind for this sort of education. I feel like the fish in the sea thats a completely blank book waiting to fill the pages. All of these other people know just what they 're doing and they're so knowledgable...I'm sitting here looking up the words they just spoke in a dictionary because I have no idea what they just said. Was I really destined to be where I am right now?
Without the random thoughts I'm so famous for, I never would have even applied to the UW. It was all a whim. It's crazy to tell everyone that story when they knew they were Badgers at birth. I've never thought myself a Badger until I started attending the school...and yet, Am I really? Maybe I was supposed to be a Gopher...? I never even did a campus visit at the UW and yet...that's where I ended up...I love the city and I've met some AMAZING people, good friends that'll probably remain good friends of mine for years to come...but is there some way that I'm not in the place that I should be? I'm just running all of these things through my head and wondering...What would have happened had I gone to U of M?
I thought trying to stay close to Janesville would keep the two of us together and that plan certainly didn't work...yet in an effort to stay close to home...some crazy weekend in Janesville on a trip to the library, I meet the most amazing guy I've ever met eyes with. And yet...I'm scared as all hell of the decision I made in the first place. Had I not gone to the UW, would I have ever met you?
That question is going to kill me for the rest of the evening I'm sure...