12...am?

2 hours. That's enough time to watch a movie (or most of one), make a well put thought out dinner, read 70 pages (ok, so who really counts how many pages they read in an hour...not I), I could get all spiffed up in that amount of time twice. And what was I doing tonight? talking on the phone. That means I finished 0 philosophy exam questions in that time limit, worked on none of my political science paper, and didn't brainstorm my thoughts for african american studies discussion tomorrow morning--which i'm going to be worthless for anyway since I left the book in fuckin janesville. Yes, fuckin Janesville. Apparantly it's those damn people from Janesville that can't punctuate sentences correctly when they don't have spell check or Microsoft Word to do it for them. Yup, that's me. The shitty writer who sits around at the table writing blogs instead of papers at night. And do I see anything wrong with this? No...not until tomorrow when I'm stressed out again. BUT, I have more time tomorrow to think about the things I need to do. Like those crappy papers. (UGH...!)

The whole thing that's really blissful about this? I enjoyed every waking minute of it. From the gaffaw description right down to the "Will you go with me...?" conversations. I'm dying. Literally dying inside with excitement. Is insightment a word? Because I'm feeling a good amount of insight right now. I've been dying to just sit down and write for a few days now...and well, the last time I did, the previous blog was all I'd give myself time for. I've realized that the last things have been ridiculously vague and that's because I don't want to piss anyone off by my blog. I've done that a lot lately...but seriously, don't read my shit if you're going to take it the wrong way. And secondly, I'm the only one who can call my blog "shit" and still mean it to be endearing. Yes, Blog, I love you. I love you dearly. Why? Because you're the thing that keeps me going day to day. Writing. What would I do without you. I type faster than most of my friends and all too many people comment on how fast I can get my thoughts out on here. If I write them down quick enough, I might just remember them all? But, If I wrote down how many times I was thinking about 5 right now...well, that just wouldn't be good enough. It wouldn't be enough.

And what's interrupting me right now? There's a spider. crawling up the wall. and I'm too lazy to kill the thing. But most of all, I don't want to kill it. it's not doing anything to hurt me, it's just standing there. In fact, it might just be watching me. Slowly inching his way closer to the radiator that sits on the other side of me across from the glass table. It's going closer to the ceiling now. Taking a stroll, if you will. He stops. He stares. What is he thinking about? How do I even know he's thinking? Damn those philosophers for getting into my head. Of course the animal is thinking. He must have a brain of some sort, I'm not sure what sort, however. He's so light in color. I've never quite seen one in such a cream color--this spider. He's....getting into my head. ick...enough about that.

This is quite possibly one of the longest blogs I've written in awhile. Why? Because I have a ton of energy. I'm not tired. I'm not thinking too hard about something because everything has just sort of seemed to float out of my consciousness. Anything that mattered. Any of those things that just kept eating away at me: They're gone. I feel very sedated, yet wonderfully sedated. I'm comfortable, comfortable just sitting here. Comfortable just being in my thoughts and knowing that I'm not thinking too much right now. Did you hear that?! I'm NOT thinking too much. Good lord (uh, wait, who?) I'm not thinking too much. There's always something blissful about that. Bliss? hmm...there has to be something better for that...ecstacy? Maybe not yet. Orgasm is ecstacy. Serenity. Bliss. Yes, yes. Serenity. I'm in love with serenity. I breathe serenity. Those morning walks when I'm thinking and figuring out what I'm doing with my life and what's going on in my head? Bliss. The fact that I know what I'm doing and that I'm happy with it?...well that's serenity. (No it's not priceless damn it, do I look like I'm writing a commercial here? sheesh...)

Ugh...school, work, work tomorrow. Nothing's going to be more hell than that. Oh wait. Yes it is. I have to do homework (i.e. what I would also consider another form of work...) when I get home from working at the Lowell Center AND from working at the Gap. At least it's only a few hours at each job. Hell, it's stupid for me to even GO to the Lowell Center tomorrow, but those full-timers gotta have their lunches covered. Ugh...take turns like the rest of the world :-)
Oh well. I only work from 1215 until 6 over the whole span. wait...that's still quite a bit. Oh well...gotta work. Need the money...ugh. No, I don't! I did this to myself. What was I thinking? Added responsibility maybe? Excuses? Who knows. I'm sure I'll be thinking about it (and regretting it all) later. No...no I won't. I love being busy. I love everything about being busy. Fast paced environment. Walking fast. The challenge. The challenge? Oh, where did that come from....who knows, I'm in the writing mood...What am I going to be doing all night? Inspiration baby. And I certainly have it....now.