Clarity

I worry, I weigh three times my body
I worry, I throw my fear around
But this morning, there's a calm I can't explain
The rock here has melted, only diamonds now remain
Ooh ooh ooh ooh
By the time I recognize this moment
This moment will be gone
But I will bend the light, pretend that it somehow lingered on
Well all I got's
Ooh ooh ooh ooh
And I will wait to find
If this will last forever
And I will wait to find
If this will last forever
And I will pay no mind
When I won't and it won't cause it can't
It just can't
It's not supposed to
Is there a second in time that I looked around
Did I sail through or drop my anchor down
Is anything enough to kiss the ground
And say I'm here now and she's here now
Ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh ooh
So much wasted in the afternoon
So much sacred in the month of June
How bout you
And I will wait to find
If this will last forever
And I will wait to find
That it won't and it won't it won't
And I will pay no mind
worry about the way the weather
And I will waste no time
Remembering our life together

That song used to be the first thing I'd listen to on my morning run and it really cleared my head-gave me some sort of new perspective on life that I'm not really sure I can explain. It's so true "by the time I recognize this moment, this moment will be gone." Everything goes so fast and we hardly even recognize the little moments in life. Walking to class and you pass that girl on her cell phone wondering what she's talking about and realizing that your own life might not be so bad when you overhear her say that she's so angry and upset. "Is anything enough to kiss the ground and say I'm here now?" is yet another line I often wonder about. Is there anything worth being so happy about in life to just it out to the world? I guess it seems, at least to me, that no matter what happens, something is going to happen to mess things up in some way or another, therefore, why really get excited about anything? "And I will wait to find, if this will last forever, and I will wait to find that it wont and it wont because it can't..." There are so many things like that in life. You can never plan anything out or have any expectations since they're more than likely just going to get ruined in the long run. Never get too attached to anything, or you'll be waiting to the inevitable-that it can't last forever.

I'm sure a lot of my feelings from this song just happen to be because of the orchestration of the piece, I love the beginning and I love the Ohhhhh in the middle and between the chorus and new verses. It definately rates up there on Cat's top 10 list. And I guess a lot of the song too just has to do with how you interpret it, it can be a very positive thing and it also can be very negative to think about. It can't happen, so why worry about it? is the best thing to take from it I suppose. Take the memories you have and store them because they won't last forever. But then there's that very pessimistic side to just be like "well it isnt going to happen, so dwell upon it."

I miss those long morning runs before school, before rehearsal, when it was still dark out and I was the only one out...so easy to clear my head before the day started and just let all my worries out of my head. Those were probably some of my best high school days I suppose. It's so nice to feel cleared of everything going on and just let out some feelings with the run. For lack of better wording, It's amazing to feel that clarified state of mind and body.