30 Seconds til Meltdown...

I've just finished the most painful paper I've written since the poem I wrote in high school called, "Torrance." It's not the writing itself, but the content that bothers me. It's a story I'm not completely comfortable with admitting, and especially a story I do not like to share. It still pains me to think about what I've lost as a result of my physical impossibility to move forward and push through. That's simply what it is....a physical impossibility. If I push through it, it will become damaged. More physical pain. More emotional pain... As it is, I'm living with a bandage over a massive, gaping bullet hole. I haven't played my violin and years...and I hardly know myself some days because of it. The music has been pulled and stripped from me, and I'm left bare and naked in the corner. That blanket of security, now gone.

I used a quote in my paper that says, "The youth's voices echo in my soul and stitch the open wounds of my past." But, stitches do not hold back the pain...