Such Great Heights

Tonight's my last night as a Freshman in College and I'm really just trying to take it all in. The city looks so boring from the window tonight. Not a lot of people walking around, hardly any cars on the road, and hardly any noise. The city's quiet tonight.

The sky is blue, the sun just getting ready to set where it starts to fade into different colors of reds and oranges in the middle of the sky. I can see so many of the buildings from my window that I'm going to miss being away from for those few short months back in janesville. Perfect view of the Roundhouse, Towers, and the Red Gym. The view of the Vilas Building, Humanities and Elvejehm Art, University Square, and Gordon Commons.

I'm listening to the sappy music that of will of course make me cry if I listen to it more than twice. This of course will inevitably happen. I just can't get enough of this song. The more I listen to it, the more I can just remember thinking those sorts of things in my head at one point. I'm not even sure what's going on in my head right now. I know I'm not going to have this same view ever again, and I'm really just trying to take it in. The song, I'll hear again, and I know i'll wish it was being sung to just me. I feel like I'm being robbed of all the songs that people may have written about me. I'm just having one of those moments, those real human moments, where I'm connected with nothing but myself and everything else just seems to go on as I sit and watch it, taking it all in. The trees are still, but the cars and the people on the streets move and go on with their lives. I'm just one of those trees standing there watching, having no other purpose. I'm sure you wrote a few songs about me and yet, I don't remember if you ever did. I'm sure now that most of them are about how things went wrong, how cold and angered I was. Am I inevitably just destined to act that way with everyone? The more you shut the door in my face, the more I wonder, is everything just going to continually just get worse? there was the peak of course when everything was seemingly so perfect, and yet, everything drastically went down from there. This campus is full of those who really aren't looking for what i am. What happened to those real moments, the ones where you just lie in bed discussing everything, thoughts, experiences, laughs...? Do none of these people exist? The stay at home types that like to make a romantic dinner, cuddle over a movie, and stay up all night talking. The play me a song type, listen to the lyrics, read me your poetry. Apparantly the male counterpart of me doesn't exist.
Someone around here must have some sort of emotion. Play your music for me, excite some sort of emotion in me. Right now i'm so void of it, disconnected even. and I guess that means "i'll go with nothing."

oh how I wish you knew you were singing right to me...