Sometimes

There are times when I wish that I could just tell you exactly what I feel...and then there are others that I'm so timid, so bottled up in myself that I can't imagine being so "forward" with you. Everything to me suddenly seems "too forward" and then I keep myself from doing the things that I want to do. I want you. I feed off of you. I want you sleeping next to me, waking up with me in the morning, kissing my neck, kissing my lips...I'd die for you to just put your arm around me or hold my hand, but I let everything subside because I want to know exactly how you feel first. I can't tell you the things I think about you and I know that there's no way you'd be reading this. No possible connections through you and all I can do is sit here and think about the times we've had together and so many of those times that I've left our business unfinished.

The night we played checkers, I wanted to just grab you across the table and kiss you all over. I've always wanted someone to be the one doing that to me, but quite frankly, that can't be the first move that you make on someone when you're a woman. When you're a women, the notions have to be subtle...until the relationship is serious. Once you're at that point, anything goes.

I want to be in that place. I want our little dates to go further...I want you to take me in your arms and tell me that you think about me when we're not together, that you want to take this further, that I'm not just wasting my time thinking about you... :-/

If I could tell you that I feel so strongly about you, I would. But I've got it all bottled up inside me like some little child, waiting, wishing, hoping.

I want you to take me, push me up against a wall...tell me you can't wait any longer, that you can't resist. I like you so much...and I've got all these pictures in my head.

When you were over at our apartment the other day, you were holding Rufus like a baby and I was fussing with Ru and just looked up at you thinking, wow, what if this was our child? All I wanted to do right then, at that very moment, was kiss you. When we were looking out my window at the different buildings, all I wanted to do was turn to you and kiss you. Just to have you close to me. When you were looking out the deck door and put your head next to mine trying to see the same view I had... You were so close. We were so close. THe thought of you kissing me was lingering over my tongue, making my lips instantly tingle with excitement as the mere thought of it makes me uneasy in my seat.

You're making me so uneasy in my seat. You're so gorgeous...so beautiful.